


It was about time

by Kazaha_87



Category: Stand Still Stay Silent
Genre: Angst, Frustration, Gen, Lalli's POV from page 753 to page 766, emotional struggle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-12 21:36:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11745675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kazaha_87/pseuds/Kazaha_87
Summary: Lalli's struggle after Tuuri's death.





	It was about time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Minutia_R](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minutia_R/gifts), [Ilral](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilral/gifts).



> Since both of you showed a lot of support after my first SSSS fiction, I decided to share that second one with you.
> 
> By the way, I hope that everybody will enjoy this story!  
> ...well, if 'enjoy' is the right word for such a dramatic turn of events.......

The smell of roasted flesh was suffocating.

It was necessary, since they didn’t have time for a ritual like the one he had arranged for the dog – and, frankly, he didn’t have the stomach to do that on his own blood – but it was revolting nonetheless.

 

_Tuuri_ …

 

He had no tears left to shed, not even for her cousin, and it was depressing.

But, even if he couldn’t cry, that didn’t mean that he wasn’t devastated.

 

_How could he have been so stupid not to understand what was going on?_

_Why couldn’t he notice that Tuuri asking him about the voices and the trapped ones wasn’t like her at all?_

 

_…but why couldn’t she just tell him straight ahead what was going on instead of lying to him?_

_Why in the world couldn’t she make herself understood?! She was the only one there with whom he shared a language, so WHY not using that for something_ useful?!

 

He had been too busy sulking for having his cousin infected – practically a walking dead – and a friend – or whatever he was – that went around with that goofy smile plastered on his stupid face when everything around them was ready to crumble down and sweep them away with it for good to notice that Tuuri was trying to tell him ‘goodbye’ forever…

 

_Just how stupid could he have been?!_

 

The smell had grown overwhelming now, and he needed all his concentration to perform the ritual to make sure to guide Tuuri on her last journey; so he had a reason to excuse himself from the others and to look for a calmer spot where to do what needed to be done.

But that didn’t make that any less frustrating!

He punched the innocent log that he had stopped in front of with all the strength left in him and let himself fall on his knees to pray for Tuuri’s soul to find her way and not to get astray.

Words needed to be said, even if just in his head, and old songs needed to be sung. That was the ritual.

That was the way.

 

After a while, he was so immersed in his duty as mage that, when Sigrun called his name, he slightly jumped.

 

_Come on! Can’t you see that I’m busy, here?!_

 

He silently asked them to wait with a dismissive wave of his hand – an internationally understood and clear enough gesture, he had thought – but when, this time, the crazy woman _shouted_ his name in an angry tone, he tried to think of how to tell them to just go on ahead in their language without throwing a curse at them all for their insensitivity.

“G-gå.”

Then she started to yell something else, but really: he didn’t have time nor was in the mood for listening to her unintelligible ramblings! So he did what he did every time: he just ignored them… until Mikkel attacked him.

Actually, he had recognized the word ‘sorry’ before being attacked, but, still, the Dane had tried to bring him with them _by force_!

 

_How dared he!? How dared_ they _?!_

 

He put himself on the defensive, watching them speaking among them about whatever – anyway, he couldn’t understand! – but, at least, Mikkel didn’t try anything else.

On the contrary, when the big man produced a watch out of his pocket and showed it to him, he released a soft sigh of relief.

Luckily, showing him the amount of time that he still needed on it had been enough to be finally left alone to continue with his duties towards his cousin.

And, obviously, when everybody else left, he had also noticed that Emil had remained behind, even if he didn’t know if it was willingly or not.

Anyway, he had no time nor was in the mood to know which was the case!

 

_Well_ … _actually_ …

 

It was so incredibly frustrating to admit it, but, even if it had only been a fleeting instant, for that brief second he had wanted to know…

But it wasn’t either the place or the moment for such a silly, as much as disconcerting, curiosity, so he just forced himself to remain concentrated on the ritual and ignore the stupid Swede as much as anything else that wasn’t Tuuri.

After all, he had been distracted enough until then even without him getting all flustered by Emil’s presence there in such an important moment!

 

He owed at least _that_ to his cousin…

And to Onni, for his silence until it was already too late.

 -&-

 Now: did Emil really get asleep while waiting for him?

_Seriously?!_

Tuuri had just died and he was _sleeping_?!

For a moment he thought about leaving him behind, but that would have been definitely too much even for him.

Not that Emil didn’t deserve it, but who knew what Sigrun would have done to him if she saw him arrive alone?

So he decided for waking him up.

He was ready to kick him and enjoy watching him dramatically fall to the ground – a single, well-aimed kick to his legs, in fact, would have definitely made the trick – that he noticed that Emil wasn’t actually sleeping.

For just a second – no, it was definitely _less_ than a second – he felt bad for having been thinking ill of him.

Slightly ashamed, he diverted his eyes from Emil’s and reported to him like he would have done if he were in Finland, even if he knew that the stupid cleanser could barely understand a word of Finnish.

Well: maybe exception made for 'smile', damn him......

For an instant, he had thought about waiting for him to collect his stuff before leaving, but the moment Emil opened his mouth and started to say something in Swedish he changed his mind right away.

 

_What, are you attempting to start a conversation in your stupid, incomprehensible language right now? Really?!_

 

He sped up his pace, determined to leave him behind, but less than a minute later Emil had already kept up with him.

 And – that was surprising! – the Swede didn’t complain like he would have expected of him when they finally were walking next to each other.

 Actually, Emil had just remained silent, his eyes fixed straight ahead and avoiding him, ignoring him entirely.

 

  _Why aren’t you looking at me?_

_Why aren’t you trying to say anything like you always do?_

_…not that I really want to listen to you trying to comfort me or say anything silly in your stupid unintelligible language, but…_

_Why is he ignoring me?_

_Shouldn’t_ I _be the one who deserves to be angry here? …so, why is_ he _sulking?_

 

Or……

 

_Could it be that now he finally understands?_

 

_Could it be that he had lost his silly, goofy smile and void words of comfort now that reality had hit him in the face?_

_Could it be that now he finally realized that the entire situation wasn’t fun at all?_

 

Incredibly, that last realization, against any good sense, left him unsettled, since he didn’t expect to feel disappointment at all for that…

But well: _it was about time that Emil grew up!_


End file.
